It's been a long week

It is finally Friday. This week seemed to go by slower than usual, maybe because I started coughing which caused many headaches. My coughs would be horrible at night, but I'm better now. Just some sinus headaches, but thankfully no fever. I'm feeling back to normal now. Yay! The swine flu that's going all around is really scary and we've been trying to stay away from large crowds. I don't know whether or not the media is hyping up the whole situation, but knowing that there are several schools around our county that have closed due to positive cases, we're taking precautions. So, that takes us to last Sunday when we wanted to go to the zoo, but decided not to at the last minute. That's ok, because we ended up packing up a picnic and had several hours of fun at the park. Katie got to fly her barbie kite that she loved, and we had the perfect weather for it.

Today I finally finished painting Sophie's room. We started it many many months ago, but with so many things happening in our lives, it has taken us a lot longer than expected. Even though it would have been ideal to have it done when Sophie was a baby, I'm still very proud that I finished it. Stu painted the room a couple of months back, and I painted the scallops on it today. All I have to do is decorate the room, which will take me about 3 years at this rate :o)

Tonight was mom's night out and had a nice time with girlfriends. We went to have a light dinner, then went to Barnes and Noble to get some Starbucks coffee and read magazines. I'm thankful for them, they are like sisters to me and I know they would do anything for me, and vice versa. They helped me through when my dad was sick by watching the kids, and my good friend even came at 2am the night before my dad passed away to come stay the night so that Stu could be with me at the hospital. Speaking of dad, tomorrow will be 2 months since my dad passed away. It feels like time is going so slowly. Maybe because I want this pain to go away. I don't feel it everyday, but I think of him several times during the day, and especially at night. At night, it's the worst because all I think about was the last day and minutes of his life. The whole experience was awful. No one wants to see their parent pass, not like this at least. I wish my dad could have gone peacefully in his sleep, not having to experience all the pricks from the needles, and having trouble breathing from all the fluid in his lungs. It's the worst sound to hear, and then the last minutes of his life will always be forever in my mind. I know there is no "good" way to go, but I wish he could have been one of those people who died in their sleep peacefully. I know this is probably morbid to talk about this, but it is a release for me to talk about it. Otherwise, I feel like I'd be supressing my emotions and then it'll be worse for me. So, anyway, tomorrow we're going to pick up my mom and have lunch, and then go to the cemetary. I told Katie tonight our plans for tomorrow, and she said she misses grandpa. I tell her often how much grandpa loved her and how much he adored her. He really did live his life for her, and that's when my tears start flooding! I have to keep telling myself that my dad is with us and he can see her too. I miss him terribly. How can life be so hurtful? I am however so proud of my mom. She lives in her big home by herself and I feel guilty at times to think that she's alone in that house. I have days when I get sad and I'm thankful that I have Stu and kids around me to keep me company, but then I feel sad when I know my mom is by herself at her home. She is strong. She joined the gym last week and goes with her friend. It's cute. I know she has rough days and I know she has a hard time especially at night, but she is getting through it. I am thankful to have a mom like her! I was so proud of my dad and honored to be his daughter, and I feel the same with my mom.